drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize