The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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