What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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