he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My pussy is not your playground.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
