please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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