I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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