D3 body, D1 cock
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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