Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
