I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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