I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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