I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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