I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
