I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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