Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
