Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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