meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You were trust falling into bushes
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
There are leaves in my underwear?
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