I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i am craving dick and cupcakes
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
