mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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