Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
