lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
