Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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