And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
