I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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