Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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