She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
