Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
