Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
