Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
be right there i have to get my cape
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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