So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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