He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
