I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
