I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Sorry my hands just texted you
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
