maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
