The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
