ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I think people are normalizing furries
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
