piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
