I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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