Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
