If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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