I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
