Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
