Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
