I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
