butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize