I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I am naked and annoyed.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
