I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
