I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
