Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
