Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
