I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
