cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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