I skipped work to stalk him.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
