Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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