swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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