her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
