How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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